Angels walking in the starlight
People gather at the roadside

My real life started on I-95, back in 1981, in the driver’s seat of a brown Ford Pinto. I have told the story elsewhere, so I will not delve into all the details, but life had delivered me to a place of deep introspection, a certain melancholy, a point of calm resolution. I needed more than I had, I needed direction, I needed assurance. And I needed peace. Peace from the turmoil, peace from the uncertainty, peace from the struggles. Out of my place of being I reached out to the universe, not knowing what was out there, but quite sure that the something out there was bigger than myself. I asked, and I was answered, and a voice said:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will never break your heart.”

Love come down
I watched it fall from the sky
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Life was never the same.

Even when we think we have it all, we always want. I had found life, eternal, no less. But I needed to share that joy, that life, that growth, that excitement with another. Having been raised witnessing a perfect model of loving parents, a mom & a dad, always together, always with and not against, always moving together, forward, to the future, I knew that is where I wanted to go. I understood, far deeper than I knew at the time, that 1+1=1, that two-becoming-one made infinity, that the only way to be whole was to be united with another in unity. Having succeeded before in reaching out to the universe, and this time I knew his name, I cast all my cares on him and waited.

I’m laughing
The world upon my shoulders
Somehow we gotta march together

Just like Amazon during the coronavirus, delivery was delayed and uncertain. I checked in regularly, looking for progress, trying to fix a delivery date. And finally, when the box hit the porch, my world was torn apart and put back together, all at once, in that magical and mystical way made only possible by the one who holds it all in his hands. As I stood trembling at the altar watching my bride, my gift, my completeness, come down the aisle, I was fully prepared to deliver these words:

“I do.”

Love came down
I watched it fall from the sky

Life was never the same.

We are a greedy species, and never quite satisfied with what we have. I could have been content being one for the rest of my life, but the desire to make copies of ourselves is part of our design. But having suffered through extensive radiation treatments as a young man, I wasn’t sure if I could deliver the goods.

A poet sat at his typewriter
We try to live, we try to live

My DNA ached to replicate itself, my ego wanted expression. My experience thus far had shown me that I was indeed blessed, that the maker of the universe had for some reason taken a liking to me, so I rolled again, double for nothing, trying to hit the jackpot. I heard my answer sitting on the floor in a prayerful state, all my cares released, a calming peace upon my soul, and a voice said:

“Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rising of many.”

Oblique? Yes. A transgression of sound scriptural interpretation? Hey, I don’t write this stuff. The important thing to my soul was one word – child – and I took it as a proclamation of a gift, the gift of life, the manifestation of grace in a real and tangible and beautiful form. After she was born, I sat dumbfounded that a man could be so loved, so blessed, so gifted by the one who made us all. And he wasn’t done yet, as others came too, each different, each wonderful, each a blessing.

Love came down
I watched it fall from the sky
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Life was never the same.

The beautiful tragedy of life is that it is never over until it is over, it is always evolving, ever-changing, there so many twists and turns along the road to your destination that your internal GPS gets confused, and sometimes says to turn around at the next available opportunity. But life means living, and living means growing, and growing means going.

I was always ready
To be there with you
To going the same way

Does it really matter where you are from, or where you have been, or even where you go? As long as your heart is leading the way, as long as love and happiness and peace are the guides, as long as that one who made you complete is happy – who cares where you are? Well she cared, and one day I woke up and heard the marching orders, turned to my better half, and said:

“We are moving to Tennessee.”

And not just Tennessee, the land of mountains that smoke and See Rock City and opries that are grand. But a beautifully specific place, a little piece of Heaven on Earth, the land of her birth. More importantly, the land of her heart.

And life was never the same.

Love come down
I want you to fall from the sky
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I have been to the place of despair, the place of want, the place of tragedy. I have suffered, I have endured pain, I have been lost. But all those things pail in comparison to what I have gained. I found love in the universe, I found love in another person, I found love in family, and I found love in a place.

Whatever happens next, wherever the road of life leads me, however it all turns out, I know one thing, and one thing for sure:

“Love came down.“

(Lyrics adapted form Love Came Down/The Blue Nile, 1996/Warner Brothers)

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